Haigler--Building Positive Relationships--Students don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

The beginning of each school year is such a crucial time to establish the balance between expectations and winning over the kids. I focus on respect as my main classroom expectation. I make students do hand gestures and recite over and over "I respect myself, I respect others, and I respect property." We talk about examples, perform skits, draw pictures, etc. Then we actually have to carry out those expectations. When students hear me continue to use that language if, for example, a student isn't respecting himself, they know I am serious and have their back when I call them out on it.

The fine line comes when students respect me enough to feel comfortable sharing things with me thinking I won't reach out for help if I think it's needed. For example, a group of girls told me about some other girls who were talking about fighting. We reviewed what it means to be a bystander and how it's not respecting others (since we had discussed this earlier in the year) to stand by and let it happen. Although they felt like they were tattling, they answered my questions because we had already built that positive relationship.

On another note, one thing I like to do in my Public Speaking classes is to make sure I hear from every student during each class period acknowledging their existence. I do this as I take attendance in a variety of ways. I ask them a question about themselves, their weekend things they like, etc. I have them say quick one liner phrases (What did you do? Where have you been? I've told you a hundred times, and the answer is still the same.). Sometimes I have them say something good or just simply 'something' which could be anything--and since middle schoolers are so random, I get some interesting responses. I tie it into practicing our public speaking skills, so they have to project their voice, use eye contact, emphasize words in a variety of ways, have confidence, command the audience's attention, and so on, to make things interesting. ALL of this to say that making that eye contact and calling each student's name acknowledges that I know they're here and I want to hear from them. The classes have really started rallying around one another to support each person as they speak and also to encourage those who purposely try to be difficult because they know I'll have them say it again if they're obviously not trying to be creative. :)

Until they know that you care, students don't care about the content of what you know. This is especially important in middle school when kids are trying to find themselves are are so insecure. If you are there to greet them by name each day (there's something else I taught them shows respect or disrespect--calling people by name instead of 'that girl'). When you take the time to ask them simple questions, they know that you care about them and not just the work they do or don't turn in.

:)